Random Musings of the Day

So it was 1 am the other day and i was mildly hammered. As I am walking to my front door I see some guy who appears to be lurking in the shadows. Creepy I thought, then again I don't exactly live in the best neighborhood. But as I am looking at this potential burglar/gigolo/baby seal clubber, he steps out of the shadows and what do I see??? A fucking chihuahua. One of those crazy talking taco bell dogs that aspires to someday be adopted and, soon thereafter, neglected by Paris Hilton or some other young socialite that has the attention span of a 5 year old.

All random ranting aside, this got me to thinking. If I were a burglar, I would sure as shit get a puppy and bring it around with me. Think about it, people see you walking around at night with a crowbar, that's pretty suspect. BUT, people see you with a puppy, they don't even notice you're holding a crow bar and that plasma tv you managed to jack.

Cops show up? No problem. .. "Hi officer, just taking little Rupert here for a walk. Oh, this crowbar? I ran out of plastic bags and I figured I could use it to pick up his poo. You have a nice night too officers. " Done and Done.

It's like a puppy has some magical power akin to that Harry Potter invisibility cloak. Except unlike that little bitch, I would use my power not for good, but for good purposes. Namely, furthering my career as a burglar, and getting girls out of their clothes. Because lets face it, puppies are to girls as boobs are to guys.

Moral of this story, don't come home drunk and see some guy walking his dog because you will end up spending fifteen minutes of your life writing a mostly unrelated story about it that no one will ever read.

CW